There’s only one thing worse than hearing a 25 year old talking like he knows about women…
And that’s hearing most 40+ year olds talking like they know about women.
90% settled with the first one that showed the slightest bit of interest in them.
Their wife usually runs the show and, on top of that, is still unhappy.
Nevertheless, the same old platitudes filtered through political correctness (and sheer fear of their significant other) reign supreme.
The truth is they know about ONE woman, nothing more.
Their data pool is too small and their experience too limited.
You need to have gone through a varied and vast number of situations to have anything worth saying. That goes for any area in life.
Luckily for me, I grew up where the dynamic was correct and I had great guidance on the subject.
Consequently, I have knowledge that is worth sharing. Knowledge that can cut someone’s learning curve in half.
Some of the rules below I did naturally, others I learned the hard way – through experience.
I had to fail a couple times to really drill them in, but once they were fixed, my outcomes increased dramatically.
Too many men waste months, if not YEARS, because they’re making repeated mistakes — their reward is mixed signals, arguments about the same thing, or chasing someone who’s already decided.
The cost isn’t just time. It’s dignity, sleep, money, and the chance to be with someone who is right for you.
You, my dear reader, now have the advantage of using this information starting from today.
Read on.
1. Do Not Underestimate the Power of Courage
Any success I’ve had with women over the last 20+ years wouldn’t have happened if this was missing.
You would be surprised how many attractive women would go out with you, if you just had the minerals to ask.
You would be surprised how much more drawn to you these women are, if you just had the balls to say what you’re really thinking.
True confidence and authenticity are so rare these days that it stands out a mile.
If you can approach a woman in a calm, smooth and honest way, you are above 99% of other men in her mind. Even if she’s not attracted to you physically, or isn’t interested right now, she will still think highly of you in most cases.
And here’s a secret nobody else will tell you: the most attractive women are the easiest to talk to.
I’m serious. They’re lonelier than you think.
Now yes, their DMs are often full, and yes they get stared at constantly. But how many men have the confidence to approach them in the right way without being half drunk first? How many can stay relaxed and not put her on a pedestal, or put on some kind of performance?
Exactly. And listen, that hot chick you have a crush on… The one you’re trying to play it cool with… Guess what?
She already knows. You may as well put your bid in.
Now sometimes you might get rejected. Everyone has, and don’t believe anyone who says otherwise.
But so what? You’re not gonna die. It could be for any number of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. You just found out you and this person aren’t compatible at this moment in time.
If you’re single and see a woman you are attracted to think:
“I wonder what she’s like? Let’s find out”, or “She might like a man like me right now? Let’s find out.”
Same thing if you’re about to go and meet up with a woman. “Let’s see if I enjoy being in the company of this person.”
That’s all a ‘date’ really is.
Go into it with that mindset and you’ll often be pleasantly surprised. Do it enough and you’ll never be surprised.
2. Establish Values Early
This is a big topic, but just know that compatibility trumps chemistry over time, every time. If you ignore this, it will bite you later.
Know who you are and what you want. That way it will be easy for you to recognise what you want when you see it; and filter out what you don’t want.
You’re now coming at it from the position of the selector. A man with standards who is happy to walk away if it’s not right.
It puts you in a more relaxed state when you understand that most women are not for you, and that’s ok.
Also cultivating and communicating this carefree attitude will lead to women telling you more about their behaviours and beliefs, allowing you to assess quickly whether they are worth investing your time and energy into.
This comes with experience. But if you practice this and the other rules below, you’ll get plenty of it.
3. Do Not Try to Win Women Over
This goes for when you approach, when you’re dating, in a relationship, or about to breakup.
You are not trying to change a woman’s mind about you in any way. Never try to make a woman like you. She either does or she doesn’t.
You put yourself out there and people can take it or leave it. I can’t remember the last time I tried to get a woman to like me.
In fact, women tend to enjoy it when they feel like they are winning you over. They may never admit it, but they prefer to be in the good graces of a man who doesn’t kiss their ass.
A man who’s got his own things going on and doesn’t make her the centrepiece of his life. If you do make her the focal point, they will only resent you for it anyway.
Also, never argue.
Whenever a man gets emotional or loses his cool, even if he’s technically right, it makes him look weak.
If someone has decided they don’t agree with you, don’t try and change their mind. If the issue being disagreed upon is important enough, the best thing you can do is walk away.
4. Know Your Boundaries
At some point, women will be looking for where the boundaries are, or test you so they can see where they are. It’s a mostly unconscious behavior.
It is extremely important to know where these are for yourself, so that you can act accordingly if they are crossed.
You should never tolerate any disrespect whatsoever.
There are many forms of disrespect and many levels of disrespect. Something silly at say level 1 can escalate to level 10 if you don’t catch it and communicate that it’s unacceptable early.
Always do this as calmly as possible and, as in the last point, be genuinely ready to walk away if need be. There are literally millions upon millions of women in the world. Abundance mentality.
5. Practice FFG (Fitness, Fashion & Grooming)
This is something I have always done, and the times I focused more heavily on it, the more opportunities and cooperation came my way. I’ve received so much reference experience for this, it’s simply undeniable.
Indicators of interest from a woman include: putting themselves in your proximity or field of vision; looking at you; making eye contact; smiling at you; initiating conversations or contact randomly when they have no practical reason to etc etc, there are too many to mention them all here.
And look, if you don’t like that appearance matters; it wasn’t my idea, argue with God about it.
Or you could just focus on improving it.
If your woman let her looks go and/or dressed shabbily most of the time, how would you feel?
Improving how you look is worth it. It’s obvious, but many men don’t do it. As a consequence they don’t have the success they could have if they did these basic things.
Lift weights, do cardio, get a haircut every two weeks, make sure your clothes fit, clean your shoes, get rid of those hairs in your ears. Basic dude stuff.
Side note: if in a relationship you may get pushback from your woman when you start doing this. They are basically afraid you might stray due to having more options – do it anyway, but give her some assurances via your behaviour that she doesn’t need to worry.
“Women are not only attracted to looks”, I hear you retort. And I agree. Genuine confidence trumps looks.
Well this gives you that genuine confidence by default, so best of both worlds. Do it.
6. Lead
You have to, at a bare minimum, be willing to lead if you ever want a woman to trust and respect you.
Now you can take input from your woman, you can sometimes listen to advice from your woman… But what you must never ever do is bend or sacrifice your identity, purpose or beliefs for a woman.
She is looking for a man with a strong identity who she can feel safe with. Some women think they want all the power over a man, but if they get it, there’s still dissatisfaction there.
The only ones who genuinely want this dynamic are masculine in nature, and not what you want (unless you’re a very feminine man).
For a relationship to work, it does have to be a team endeavor. Men and women are complimentary. However, when you know your self-worth and responsibilities, and act accordingly, then she will usually do the same.
On top of that she will be very happy about it.
Why? Because it’s in our nature to cooperate in this way.
Being a leader is something that is in the woman’s best interest as well as your own.
7. Be a Good Ender
Part of being a good leader is to treat people with kindness even if the situation has run its course.
If you know it’s not going to go any further than where you are, just tell her it’s best that you two be friends.
It’s especially important to do this if you sense that she has the potential to get attached to you quickly. Best for both parties and saves any hurt feelings or resentment.
Also if the woman wants to end things, respect the decision and let her stick to it. You only want a woman who wants you, it’s that simple. If she doesn’t, you should be glad that you found out as soon as you did. Move on.
The mantra to remember with this one is: Cool, Calm & Kind.
Even if you are the ‘ender’ and the woman has done something bad; still be cool, calm and kind about it. There’s zero downside to being this way.
And there you have it. 7 rules you can use to improve your encounters with the fairer sex. Use it wisely.
Hope this helps some people.
Cheers,
– Rick